There are many notable friendships in the Bible. There are Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy, Ruth and Naomi, Mark and Paul, etc. But the one that is, arguably, the most notable is the friendship between David and Jonathan. From loyalty to sacrifice, their friendship is a great example of what true friendship is. They both endured trials that could’ve easily drifted them apart, but because of their love for each other and God, they were focused on how they could serve God through their friendship. This is why their bond was so strong and it is a great example of how we can have true friendships also.

• Celebrate Your Friends Achievements

There are a few things that are better than accomplishing something and hearing a word of congratulations from your friend. Having that support is one of the most encouraging things that someone can have. Despite Jonathan being the heir to the kingdom (his dad was Saul, the king at the time), God anointed David to become the next king. “The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long are you going to mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go. I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem because I have selected a king from his sons” (1 Samuel 16:1). Instead of Jonathan becoming jealous of David and his achievements, he supported him and they praised God for it.

Sometimes, we may be envious of our close friends when they’re doing well. Especially if they’re doing well at something that we tried or aren’t as good at. But instead of becoming like Saul and getting jealous, we should be like Jonathan and realize that the purpose God has for our friend is different than the purpose He has for us. If we remain focused on God, we can celebrate because our friends’ achievements are a product of the work that God is doing in their lives. This is something to rejoice in.

• Be Loyal to Your Friends

As Saul grew more jealous of David, the more he wanted to get rid of him. He ordered his son, Jonathan, and other servants to kill David. However, Jonathan liked David and had no desire to lay a hand on him. So instead, Jonathan informed David of what was going on and kept him safe while he went to talk to his father. He was able to convince Saul to rid of the bounty on David for a while, but Saul soon became jealous again. Once again, Jonathan was able to help David escape Saul. Despite Jonathan being Saul’s son and being loyal to him because he was his father, he was also loyal to David because he was his best friend.

Like Jonathan, sometimes we can be put in a tough position. Not only was Saul Jonathan’s father but he was the king. David was Jonathan’s best friend. And now he was stuck in the middle. However, Jonathan didn’t waver and fold under the pressure. He didn’t try to settle the conflict by himself but instead relied on the truths that come from God. Although he was loyal to David and Saul (to some extent), his ultimate loyalty was to God. Through God’s truths and what Jonathan learned from Him, he was able to deal with the situations in his life effectively.

When you’re loyal, you can’t just live for yourself. You have to not only stand by your commitment but be willing to suffer for it. As Christians, we devote our lives to be loyal to God, which also means we have to be willing to suffer for Him. Jesus did this when he was beaten and crucified. Loyalty is the most selfless part of love. When we remain loyal to Christ and gain more and more understanding from the Word, our decisions regarding our friendships will become much clearer.

• Be Willing to Sacrifice

Although this is a happy friendship and one of the deepest ones in the Bible, the ending is a sad one, as David and Jonathan had to eventually part ways (it would be a while before they saw each other again). Jonathan had sacrificed much for David. His belongings, “Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt” (1 Samuel 18:4). He was also willing to sacrifice his relationship with his father by speaking favorably about David to him. But ultimately, he sacrificed their presence with one another by orchestrating a plan to help David to escape once and for all. “Jonathan then said to David, ‘Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the Lord when we said: The Lord will be a witness between you and me forever.’ Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city” (1 Samuel 20:42).

The strongest friendships include a sacrifice in them. It doesn’t have to come in the form of something valuable like the things Jonathan gave David, but it can come in the form of making time to hang out with a friend instead of doing something that you planned to do. Or vice versa by understanding that your friend may not have time to hang out with you because they planned to do something else. In Jonathan’s case, he sacrificed his birthright because David’s friendship was more important to him, and I’m sure David would’ve done the same thing had he been in that position.

Overall, true friendships are even deeper and closer when there is a willingness to make sacrifices. Jesus died on the cross because He wants to spend eternal life with us. Because, as Christians, we are His friend.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

I’ll answer that question . . . EVERYTHING. Love has everything to do with true friendship. Friendship, as God intended, is through love. “Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13). The reason Jonathan and David’s friendship was so close was because of the love they both had for each other. ” . . . Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as much as he loved himself” (1 Samuel 18:1).

The strongest friendships are those that: are based on a commitment to God and not just each other, not letting anything come between them (including family problems), draw closer together when the friendship is tested, and remaining friends to the end no matter the distance. All of these things can be achieved and maintained if God is the focal point. And if God is the focal point, then love is there because we know that God is love. Also, His two greatest commandments have one thing in common which is love. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind,” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-40).

Having friendships like this is one of the greatest blessings that you can have. It can even have long-lasting effects on your family. After Jonathan’s death, David took his son in as his own and cared for him just like they both promised.

I think it is safe to say that Jonathan had a huge impact on the man and leader David became. Their true friendship benefitted both of them, and most importantly, brought them both closer to the Lord.

God wants us to enjoy being around our friends and He wants us to make valuable relationships. But He also wants our friendships to bring us closer to Him. We should be worried more about how we can serve God through it than focusing on what we can get out of it. Only He can make a friendship function in a positive way like David and Jonathan’s.

It won’t be perfect by any means, because we are not perfect people. But when we’re friends with Christ (who meets all the criteria for a friend), then the friendship is enabled to endure anything.

“A friend loves at all times.” (Proverbs 17:17)